“Satmar goes against the trend that they set”

Satmar, the organization known for its strict adherence to “Green” Policies has shocked the world with their most development.

On January 16, 2009, Chuchmas Ungarin Inc, A division of Satmar Inc, announced that three massive gas reservoirs have been discovered 80 kilometers off the Biney Barak coast, at the Kishke Well. The well was named after Yechiel Noyach Shulem Kleinman successfully ate kishke while diving. Scientists have attributed the miracle to the fact that the kishke was sherayim from the Veyalopoler Dayan.
The Kishke well, located in approximately 5,500 feet of water, was drilled to a total depth of 16,076 feet. The thickness and quality of the reservoirs found were greater than anticipated at the location.

Yoel Leib Izakovoich, Chuchmas Ungarin chairman, dayan and gabbeh, said in an announcement that his company was "Bureeech Hashem extremely excited by the results. This is one of the most significant prospects that we have ever tested and appears to be the largest discovery in the company's history. Our rebbe is so happy that we are finally moving towards financial freedom for the international Kollel movement"
Speaking to Der Yid on Sunday morning, an exhilarated Shmiel Noyach Boym, owner of the Satmar Green Movement Ltd, one of the owners of the well, called the discovery "one of the biggest in the world," promising that the find would present a historic landmark in the economic independence of Satmar.

"I have no doubt that this is a Yomtif for the Satmar Kehilla. We will no longer be dependent [on foreign sources] for our income, and will even export to Buru Park.
The Satmar rebbe informed everyone this week that the success is attributed to the joint efforts of Toshe, Bobov, Buhosh, Skulya, Boyan, Krassne, Spinke Buru Park, Spink Monroe and Saseregen. These groups spent years saying Tilim and visiting heiliger kevurim in Hungary, Romania, and Ukraine.

The Satmar dayan issued an statement in which he swore that no Israeli equipment or technology was used in the discovery. However, TheSmokingGun is reporting that the technology for the drills was stolen from Tiferes Elimlech University.

When asked what kind of effect this would have on the billions that they have spent on renewable energy, the Satmar Dayan said that they would continue to pursue alternative energy solutions as well as traditional solutions.