Emergency Fund Created

An emergency fund was created to help support a new Ropschitz night kollel where learning will be in memory of those lost in the tragic events of Mumbai.

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Donation amount: $100____ $1000____ $10000_____

Breaking: Bobov (48th) donates $100,000 to Shluchim worldwide.

Critics say the generous gesture was in response to the other Bobov's deployment of 1000 heimishe humanitatrian aid workers that descended upon Mumbai offering hot keegel and fish to the Indian police. Reb Mordche Doooovid, spiritual leader of the Bobover Hasidic Dynasty was reported to have said "It's no big deal - I hate money so really, they're doing me the favor. And since Bobov spearheaded the original kiruv movement of the 1960s, we have a special varm plotz in our hartzen for the Lubavitcher shluchim."

Profiles

Ah Chitzpoo is pleased to announce "Profiles" a new series that will recognize some of the top achievers in our wonderful (Mee Kiamchooo Yisroooel) society, highlighting those who have dedicated their lives with powerful careers that serve our community. This week we will focus on one man known as the "Freud of Fialkoff's."

Dr. Yaakov Salomon received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Zidichover at Berkeley in 1980. Since receiving his degree, he has worked as a lecturer in the School of Psychology at KU (Klausenberg University, of course) where he teaches graduate courses such as The Assessment of Children and Educational Interventions, and serves a clinical supervisor for School Psychology student interns in field placements in "Talmudical seminaries". Dr. Salomon has also worked part-time as a school psychologist for the past five years. In 2002 Dr. Salomon was awarded a National Academy of Education/Spencer Foundation Post-doctoral Fellowship for his research on the social context of early schooling and young children's school adjustment. More specifically, his research program focuses on examining whether the type of practices teachers use, and in particular how students perceive these practices, play a role in the development of academic, behavioral, and socio-emotional competencies. Dr. Salomon resides with his wonderful wife and children in Brooklyn, NY.

Another Klausenberg University Achievement

The Sanz-Klausenberger Rebbe, who is also the Associate Professor of Horticultural Sciences at Klausenberg University, just completed a 13-year study on genetic improvement of apples, a project spearheaded by the NYS Agricultural Experiment Station.

Watch as the Rebbe/Professor demonstrates the increased velocity of the fruit as it is tossed into the air. The excitement of the KU (Klausenberg University) students is evident, especially given their broad interest (and excellence) in plant breeding and biotechnology.

Watch Here

Top Economists in Session about the Declining Financial State

Did you think they were discussing anything less important? Although they actually hate money these two giants were caught on video trying to solve the latest economic woes. As a matter of fact, the "Zimigrader Rebbe" declined the Treasury Secretary position offered to him recently and instead wants to focus his efforts on large-scale non-partisan projects like a new Viener night kollel.

Listen closely.

Rebbe foon Skulen is a secret Jews for Jesus follower!

Note the two candlesticks - subliminal silver crucifixes - during the secret cultish ceremony with his closest followers. This is the ultimate chitzpoo because the Skulener Rebbes hoiz booocher is friendly w/ deh breeder foon deh tainker rooov's rebbetzins sister's husband's gabbah....

"All the money in the world belongs to me." - Der Heiliger Rizhiner Rebbe

You think he really liked money? The holy Rabbi Yisroel Friedman of Ruzhyn (1797-1850) hated money - it is rumored that he even used fistfuls of Romanian banknotes for toilet paper. It is no wonder, then, that in his merit, his sons established such important dynasties as Boyan and Buhosh. Where would Am Yisroel be without them?

Breaking! According to Experts on the Campaign Trail, McCain Lost because he didn't Consult w/ the 'Cock Admor of Tosh' (כ"ק אדמו"ר מ'טאהש )

On a recent trip, the Cock Admor did not even want to fly first class - they forced him. His chasidim felt that going to such a holy place (not Israel chas v'shalom, but Hungary) warrants such luxury.

Update: The hunky at the far right gets a mazel tov - he had a baby boy named "keegel" last week.

Ah Chitzpoo Gedoiloo Buying Such Ah "Fency" Matoooona Before Giving to Krasne Kollel's Shu-oil Eeemaishiv's Rebbetzin's Gemach!

(Beautiful gift - gorgeous pattern too!)

Lakewood very angry at Obama

An emergency meeting was held in Lakewood this Motzei Shabos Kodesh parshas Noyyach by the Gedolei Hador. The Gedoilim and Ketanim  are very concerned about the possiblibility that Barak Obama may be the next president. Rav Shnurrer Gadol, was quoted as saying "I just got off the phone with the St. Mary Dayan and we both agreed that its a groyse chitzpoo that Obama wants to offer us jobs. We dont want jobs. We want more shnurring" After Harav Shnurrer spoke with the St Mary Dayan he called the Spinka Rebetzin to get a bracha for more welfare checks. 

Forget Zionism

Let's just be wandering Jews & eat keegel.

NICE GUY of the month award

Recognize him? If not then you're not "with it." His face is only visible to top guys in the business and real players...if you don't order prime grill for snack then you probably don't understand.

Do you think he just counts money all day? He's a nice guy! When he's not closing big deals, he's scaling buildings and fighting evil. He once threw a fantastic party @ Prime Grill just for poor widows of Kollel Yungerman (okay, so they had to pay for their meal - but to sit w/ the CEO of the world?!) and donated wind turbines to help provide clean energy for the earth-conscious people of Kiryas Joel.

Once in middle of an office meeting @ Le Carne, he ran out of the private party room to go take a dump (he ate too much sushi appetizer) and according to the person who went into the bathroom after him, it actually smelled very fragrant - like vanilla and jasmine!

Like the Satmar Rebbe (the other one) says about him: Ad Maya V'eysrim $huna!

Biggest Chitzpoonyak - St. Mary's Chassidus

Who are they?

Satmar (or Satmar Hasidism or Satmarer Hasidism) (חסידות סאטמאר) is a Hasidic movement of mostly Hungarian^[1] and Romanian Hasidic Jews who survived World War II. It was founded and led by the late Hungarian-born^[2] Grand Rebbe Yoel Teitelbaum^[1] (1887-1979), who was the rabbi of the town of Szatmárnémeti, Kingdom of Hungary^[1] (now Satu Mare, Romania) up to World War II. Members of his congregation are mainly referred to as Satmar Hasidim or Satmarer Hasidim, or "hunkies" or "heimishe (pronounced hi-mish).

What is perhaps most ironic about "Reb Yoilish" was that he was embittered that the Zionist bastards saved his skinny ass at the expense of others. This left him feeling ambivalent- on the one hand he owed his life and a debt of gratitude to the Zionists but on the other hand, his lifelong mission was to curse them! It so happened that it killed him to show any sort of gratitude so he went out of his way to blast them until the day he died. Ah Chitzpoo Gedoiloo!

The 2 largest Satmar communities are in Veeleemsboog, Brooklyn and Kiryas Joel, New York; There are also significant Satmar communities in Borough Park, Brooklyn; Monsey, New York; and smaller communities can be found in North America, Europe, Israel, Argentina and Australia. The late Satmar Rebbe, Reb Yoel, also held the title of the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem's Edah HaChareidis (an ultra orthodox anti Zionist community in Jerusalem), although he did not live in Jerusalem since 1946.

Satmar is one of the largest and most influential Hasidic movements in existence today, but formal demographic comparisons with other Hasidim are not available. It is believed now, however, to number close to 130,000 schnorrers, and is rapidly growing due to the extremely high fertility rates of this group and also the large welfare and public housing "payouts." This population figure does not include a number of smaller and related anti-Zionist Hungarian Hasidic groups who align themselves with Satmar.^[3]